Adam Scott is an angry man with a dream. He envisioned a world without having to shop every few days, do dishes, and spend a lot of money. So he embarked upon a noble experiment to see if a human being could live on the pelletized diet fed to our furry cousins incarcerated in zoos.

These are The Monkey Chow Diaries. I spoke with Adam about his experiment yesterday...  

R3: I'm a little bored with food these days as well, but I can still choke down sushi in a pinch. What motivated you to try this?

Adam: It was just one of those stupid ideas that creep into your head and make you laugh. But everything happened to be aligned so I could actually do it. I had a new webcam, I had a week of vacation coming up, I had the cash to ship 40 pounds of kibble across the continent, and so it seemed like the best possible time to eat monkey chow for a week. Step one: go!

R3: What's your favourite food normally?

Adam: There aren't many things in the world better than a crispy skinned roast chicken with stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy. But animal feed unfit for human consumption is awesome too.

R3: I don't know if this is too personal a question, but are you seeing anyone right now? If so, is this putting a strain on your relationship? I mean you do talk a lot about your poop.

Adam: I'm sure people will be shocked to learn that monkey boy is single. I'm not an easy person to date, and I've had to admit that. When I find the girl who can love me through monkey week, that will really be something special. But I'll probably still owe her some flowers.

R3: Have you been watching any cooking shows? Would that be a bad idea?

Adam: I've avoided cooking shows almost completely. But it's amazing how pervasive food is. Every second commercial is for food. Every second TV episode takes place around a meal. In the city, you can't go ten feet without seeing or smelling a restaurant. There are 20 foot high hamburgers up on billboards. I am acutely aware of food, and its omnipresence is astounding.

R3: I almost barfed in my mouth while watching you eating the canned monkey food. Do you think this will re-ignite your passion for human food?

Adam: Actually, I've always been passionate about food. I've dined on duck in Paris, and now I've fed on chow in my underpants. You can't eat nothing but haute cuisine and think you know everything about food.

R3: Has this experiment had any impact on your dreams?

Adam: My dreams are always pretty messed up, and I'm not much of a sleeper to begin with. I haven't dreamt about bananas or swinging from vines. I have dreamt about homemade chicken soup though.

R3: Whatever your reasons for doing this... is it worth it?

Adam: Doing something interesting is almost always worth it. But if I die of monkey pox, I reserve the right to change my answer.